So this was my first week that I did not lose weight during my weigh in at Weight Watchers. One of the things I’ve had to learn how to come to terms with is losing. Context: I HATE losing…anything…a game…school test…debate…race…you name it. At my core, I feel like I’m supposed to win every time…every TIME. Ok, with that said, it’s an unrealistic expectation. So when I do lose, I take it very hard and very personal. It’s just how I’m built.
Sometimes, there is no fix, no comeback, and no do over. Personally, I’ve learned over time to do the following:
- Embrace the reality of what happened.
- Confront guilt and shame with forgiveness for yourself and/or others if necessary.
- Be aware of depth of your pain and give yourself time to grieve and grow.
- Find a person, support group, and/or internet forum where you can vent, get help, and be held accountable.
This applies far beyond just missing expectations for weight loss, but also other areas of disappointment like death of a loved one, loss of a job, sickness, loss of a relationship, or sometimes the end of a season of life.
Not every loss is necessarily bad. Sometimes it’s necessary. For example, if you have kids, some day they will grow up and move out the house. It’s hard but necessary and part of the progression and seasons of life. They have reached a level of independence that requires a separation. And that’s the key word we have to come to terms with: separation.
Specifically, it’s the separation from desired expectations…which you could really described as a definition of change. But change is the prerequisite for growth. Bittersweet as it is, you have the opportunity to reflect, take inventory, and bounce back with a renewed perspective. The sun will rise again, even on a cloudy day, and it’s going to be ok…(in the words of my grandfather).